Just this noontime, came the time for me to speak once more in English class. My heart pounds as I get on stage, the whole Tau breaks in tune to "Careless Whisper". "I'm not dancing today" my mind says, as I try to relax amidst the tune, taking a few seconds with my back turned before I face the attentive ears of 29. I talked about the word I picked, or two words to be precise. It can be hard to speak of it within two minutes, but I kept going. Ignoring Nala's two finger as the time limit marker, kept going 'til the nerves got to me and I stopped as she raised three fingers.
I kind of wished for more time, but being one minute overtime, I had to stop. At least I have an idea for my new entry here. Here is what could have been my whole speech.
When I heard that the goal of the speech in English class was to select a word and talk about it, I had nothing in mind. It was only the moment that I woke up this morning that the word I had came in mind. I gave it some thought, maybe bend the rules, considering that it is two words. Anyway the word(s) that I chose today is...
Lone Wolf.
The reason why I chose these two words was that they embody a part of my persona.Yes, it is something that dear old Webster cannot define, so I'll share to you how to perception of a Lone Wolf. Throughout my llife, I have mostly been someone who is silent and keeps to himself. There are times when I hang out with people, but most of the times, I'd be out alone doing my own thing. Even up 'til now, I am still like that. I have never been bothered by my apparent preference for independence. Even though there are times, when being such not only affects my social interactions with others but also my academic performance, I hold back the regret and manage to make the most out of it.
As my time in PhilSci comes to an end. With my ever resilient memory, the past seems to come back to me, even managing to haunt me. Couped with the fear of being forgotten, stemming from how feel like I don't make an impression on other due to my silent demeanor. I look back at my elementary years, my academics, my first three years in PhilSci, all the moments where I would be alone. It gets me questioning "What could I have different?"
So yeah, I have my fears and regrets.
In the end, I look inside and reevaluate myself.
"It's time to open up to others!" I say to myself. To try not to be something I'm not, and be myself. Gather up courage and take the risk. Sure, I do not be loquacious, I just need to be confident with myself. But at least It's better than living a life of regret.
It feels better to write this out. I don't have any time constraints to deal with.
Ma'am Altis: "Glad to here you're opening the doors to yourself."
No comments:
Post a Comment